Lost of the beloved

Shadows hand mirrored my every move. It creaped up against me and my conscious. My mind looking in on itself to find any flaw but to only see a dark shadow. What is it that when you look, sometimes you don’t see; but when you don’t look, you really do see? My mind is mistaken, and my heart is lost. It is a wholesome but vicious cycle, of failures, dreams, disappointments, growths, and accomplishments. Life is what you make it and, well to me it has been hard, very hard and well very good too. You can’t say what a alliance would be like until you are in it. You won’t truly know until it is actually in motion.
The yesterdays have come and gone. So quickly, as if they ran right by. Not even to stop to say Hello. It has been 8.5% of my life since I unveiled the words of my destiny. Oddly enough it has been some of what I though and some of what I didn't hope for. A mix and match of patchwork holding wild emotions and array of feelings. Some to dense to understand the meaning, and some I couldn’t unravel until such a time later. My soul is an endless flow of water into a cup. The water never stays long, always changing, always refilling. Perpetuiously moving in a constant direction. I am such a cup.
My soul aches for an anwser. A response with whats happening to me in mind and spirit. I am loosing myself all together. I am loosing myself in the wind. It it this situation that's causing my trouble? Or is it from something much bigger with more of a substantial cause? I seem to be riding the air of a monsturious wave, up and down, side to side, around in circles. Flying happhazardy to the beat of an empty heart. Who am I ? Where have I gone? What are my dreams and desires? What I am I doing here? I am lost, away from my beloved home.